This list is at its core a diatribe. We are frustrated with some of the unsafe environments being created around us and would like to name in an open way the ways that we have felt uncomfortable and marginalized in an effort to allow us to bring our whole selves to all situations. By writing this we are putting ourselves out there, so be considerate and respectful.
1. Don’t make me sit in the middle seat of the back of a car
2. Don’t make me sit on the ground ever
3. Chairs in Sci. Center 183 NOT FUN, Chairs in Kohlberg–I have bruises
4. Flying on airplanes makes me want to die because the seats are so small
5. Never take a picture from below
6. Be aware if I’m running, out of breath, generally unable to keep up
7. No, walking long distances isn’t going to work if we are running, or walking
8. Don’t call yourself fat, I’m uninterested in hearing that
9. Don’t comment on how much I’m eating, ever
10. Don’t ask me what medicine I’m taking
11. Don’t ask me why I have so many doctors appointments.
12. Don’t give me two potatoes at Sharples. I want a multiple of two. It is not your responsibility to be my Jenny Craig
13. Don’t talk about the Freshmen 15
14. Don’t assume I’m not sexual
15. Don’t assume that I’m your chair
16. Don’t tell me I’m comfy. I’m not your lazy-boy. Comfy is code for fat.
17. Ice breakers like the human knot and others that make me acutely aware of my size are not OK. Trust fall is never OK. NEVER!
18. Just because I’m fat does not mean I’m sassy–I’m not Mo’Nique, I’m not Queen Latifah, I’m not your comedy show
19. Don’t ask me to carry 15 things and balance one on my head, it’s not easy to balance myself
20. Moving to the center of an aisle, cafeteria, shouldn’t be more important than my discomfort with hitting everyone on the way there with my boobs/stomach/self
21. My boobs are proportional to the rest of me, there is no need to note their size
22. Pools and beaches are not safe spaces for me, bathing suits are my worst nightmare.
23. My weight does affect my temperature, sometimes I sweat.
24. Amusement parks and roller-coasters are not safe spaces for me, anything really with a size limit
25. No, I don’t want to try that on in a size 1/2 of what my actual size is.
26. Ice is my worst fear, falling could break a bone. Gravity is my other worst enemy.
27. Don’t confuse health with wellness, they are different.
28. Don’t comment on how much my jeans cost, it’s more fabric, it makes sense that it costs more.
29. Don’t tell me that “you shouldn’t be eating this,” no you shouldn’t, you should give it to me. Fishing for compliments isn’t going to work here.
30. We can’t share fitting rooms, it’s not a party.
31. Don’t take me into Abercrombie and Fitch. Don’t take me into Rainbow. It’s just insulting.
32. Cheap stuff looks good on you, a piece of tissue paper is not flattering on my body.
33. Victoria is the beign of my existence, anything above a B-cup is a piece of shit.
34. If it doesn’t look good on me, be honest, but it’s kind of your fault were in this situation in the first place.
35. I don’t care about the environment, I need to take the elevator.
We know these are funny but they are all, also dead serious. We can each point to moments just like these that made us feel marginalized, excluded, self-conscious, and generally unsafe. So think twice before you act, recognize your privilege and own it.
Sylvia and Cecilia
Please add in the comments section any that you believe are relevant/important and we will add them.
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