until further notice.


until further notice i have let the haters get to me.

most recently this was posted on my blog in the comments section:

Hey Cecilia,

I’m so very sorry that there have been some harsh and threatening things said in response to your blogs. You seem to think of this as a sort of safe space. But I think in reality it really isn’t and that’s hard to take sometimes. I think you are very brave for putting yourself out there like you have, Lord knows I wouldn’t have the courage.
But here’s the deal: You’re fat. No amount of awesome fierceness on your part is going to change that. You are morbidly obese and you must accept that. You’re a wonderful person and there are so many people who love you very much. However the fact remains that your weight is a problem, as is your attitude about it. No people shouldn’t be mean to you, but calling you out on self-delusion isn’t mean, it’s being frank and truthful. You talk about fatphobia and fuck-you lists but please, how can you just say fuck-you to people about your weight? Don’t say “fuck you” to people who don’t want to be forced to put up with, for example, the fact that you smell. You’re probably over 300 pounds and obviously can’t take care of yourself. You can’t reach things that aren’t all that far away, you smell, take take up an uncomfortable amount of space, you’re forced to wear your cloths in such a way that offends the senses, among other things. If you need help picking up a pencil that’s by your foot, it’s no wonder you must not be able to reach all the parts of your body or wash yourself.
The smell thing is a special problem. Don’t get upset at other people because you can’t wash yourself properly. Don’t get upset at other people because you have so much flesh on you that it reeks and smells like it’s rotting. Don’t get upset at people who hold their breath when you stand up because the smell is so bad, or at people who don’t want to dance around you because you smell horrible and when you move you wash the stench around.
Don’t get upset at people because your waist is too big for a belt and therefore your pants are constantly falling down, revealing your behind to the entire world. Don’t get upset at people for calling your breasts big: they are quite large.
Don’t get upset at people who call your eating habits disgusting: they are really quite appalling. I’ve heard that you often suck down whole pizza’s or consume whole cheese calzones. I’m sorry, but to most people the thought of eating “a pound of cheese” and bread is utterly disgusting. You’re upset at the world and yet you eat eat eat eat. It’s pitiful.
Don’t get upset at the size of seats on an airplane or in a classroom: I hope you don’t expect that the world should cater to your problematic morbid obesity. If you can’t keep up that’s your fault not ours.
I’m tired of you denying that there is anything wrong with you, or that it is normal to be as large as you are. You’re right, it’s not okay to be mean, but please, I hope you’re mature enough to realize that the truth is the truth and that it’s time you accepted it. I agree that some of these comments are rude and mean, but please, seriously?

this is just one of many really hurtful things that have been posted to my blog and at this time i don’t really feel comfortable continuing blogging with this type of stuff coming at me. honestly is just hurts too much and i can’t pretend it doesn’t.

i hope something i’ve written has mattered to someone but if nothing else i’ve enjoyed the discussions i’ve had with others about it.

so that’s that




4 Responses to “until further notice.”

  1. 1 Tatiana

    Hi Cecilia,

    That’s REALLY bad. I was procrastinating cleaning my room, so I figured I’d check out your blog and WOW. Sometimes there are no words. But for now, the words I will use are “ignorant, fucked up, hateful, lying, scum of the earth fuck face.” I’m so sorry that people have been so hateful towards you. I want to punch them in the face. You are awesome and I’m so sorry. I hope you stay strong, keep your head up and find a way to ignore ignorant people. You are great.

    and to the haters, FUCK YOU. Get a life.

  2. 2 Luis


    Cecilia keep writing. What you writing is obviously getting on some people’s nerves, which means that it’s being effective. Unfortunately the words and ideas that you present are causing people discomfort, and unfortunately this is the way they choose to react.

  3. 3 J.

    Sigh. This is why you have to keep writing … because jerk faces like this one exist .. and because people obviously don’t see fatism as a form of discrimination. Stay strong lovely. And whenever you need to draw inspiration just think of our grrrl Beth Ditto

  4. 4 Mollie

    I think you smell like sunshine. fuck ’em.

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