Coming Back

10Jun09

So, it was nice to take a quick hiatus from blogging. It let me get recentered and figure out what I was really trying to get out of this blogging thing and why i was doing it. it also let me rethink what i believe is and isn’t appropriate behavior for a consumer of blogs.

this has made me come to a few conclusions… specifically a list of rules for consuming my blog:

  1. Respect.  I will not accept or publish hateful comments.  I welcome constructive criticism but personal attacks are not welcome here.  This is not that space.  I know that blogging makes this an open forum.  I hope that a wide variety of people are reading this, but it doesn’t mean that hate, bigotry and cruelty will be accepted as commentary.
  2. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.  I want people to read this but not at the expense of my sanity.  Reading cruel comments is not fun for me so I will delete them and I won’t feel bad about it.
  3. Be open minded and I will be too.  I know that I’m not right about everything, I expect to be off base sometimes and to be called out for it.  But I hope that as readers of a blog in return you will come into this blog with an open mind and not from a hateful place.

if these seem unreasonable to you, i’m sorry, there are a lot of really great blogs out there that may be better suited for your regular reading!

And another list… why I want to keep writing this blog.

  • Because I’m in a process, and this blog gives me a space to do that.  I get to talk through (write through) some things that I am thinking about.
  • After going through my blog with special attention to the comments section i realized that it was a small portion of the comments that were actually really hurtful and that the vast majority were constructive criticism, good conversation, and positive feedback.  The small number of mean and cruel comments are standing out in my mind at an unfair and disproportionate level.  i need to remember and recognize all of the positive feedback and affirmation that i have received recently from friends, acquaintances, strangers, and people who prefer to stay anonymous.
  • fatphobia.  it clearly exists.  reading the hateful comments that were posted on my blog that had nothing to do with health risks, nothing to do with statistics, nothing to do with research, they were focused on hating on me specifically relating to my weight.  most of them did not in fact take issue with things i had to say but instead attacked me personally which is not a good way to base a constructive dialogue.
  • i can’t let mean people get me down.  i can’t allows people who suck a lot to make me not do something that i really enjoy doing.  if my friends or anyone i care about were in a similar position i would of course encourage them not to give in to people like this.

so moving forward i will take my blog off of private and allow public viewing.  i will continue to write, whether or not people like it or not.  i will also not include any comments that i deem hateful or cruel, but do encourage constructive criticism.

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8 Responses to “Coming Back”

  1. 1 Nikki

    Beautifully said. Good for you.

  2. 2 toby

    i love how transparent and raw you are being on this blog! so glad you’re back. you’re an inspiration!

  3. 3 ashia

    completely agree with ur 3rd bullet point…

    here’s why:
    1. they’re assuming that you’re not taking care of your health… were any of those commenters going with you to the doctor, etc.?? how can they criticize if they don’t know ur personal history?? body weight is not an indication of how much you care about yourself (after some thought: it is in some special cases, but i think its too big a generalization to say about everyone)

    2. physical health is important… but what about mental/emotional/spiritual health? those need to be taken care of too – i would argue its just as important as physical health – for everyone, no matter what size they are

    glad ur back!

  4. 4 Reginald Humphreys

    When people dislike what you have to say and want to hurt you, they tend to attack by pointing out your most obvious flaws (yes, I would consider morbid obesity a flaw because it is extremely unhealthy). This does not mean they are ‘fatphobic’ or that they are attacking you solely because you are fat, they’re just using the fact that you are insecure about your weight to get under your skin. I think you are hurting your arguments as a whole by using terms like that.

  5. 5 5

    As someone who does not know you personally but was referred to this blog by friend who does, I am REALLY glad you have decided to allow public viewing once again. I enjoy reading your posts, which often lead to further contemplation or thoughtful discussion among friends (AND I found Ill-Doctrine through this blog, a major plus!)

    I appreciate your courage in keeping up a public blog and your tact in dealing with hateful comments. So, Thanks!

  6. 6 Shaun

    Reading your blog for the first time, and I am glad to know that you have decided to keep it up. We may not agree on everything, but I am happy knowing that the vitriol that many have spewed upon these pages hasn’t put you out of the game. It’s sad that putting oneself out in public has to be so difficult due to those who will say terrible things. Keep up the good work! As it seems that you have already realized, a number of people respond to your thoughts with thoughts of their own. Congrats, and good luck.

  7. 7 Urooj

    So glad you’re back!!

  8. 8 Flash

    Great post!


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